Does the Brides Family Visit for the Nast?
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Indonesian Wedding Ceremonies and Customs
Ethnic Chinese Weddings
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Count yourself fortunate if you've had the opportunity to attend an Indonesian wedding. The fascinating wedding ceremonies and festivities give expatriates a unique opportunity to gain insight into Indonesian culture and social mores.
Given the wide diversity of ethnic groups in Indonesia, information technology stands to reason that wedding ceremony customs will reflect this diverseness. Each ethnic group has dissimilar wedding clothes (batik, traditional textiles, kebaya) and unlike marriage ceremonies and customs. Within ethnic groups, those of unlike religious backgrounds will take different practices every bit well.
Every bit a expatriate living in Indonesia you may on occasion receive a wedding ceremony invitation. Y'all may not know how to act, what to bring or what your role as a guest in the wedding ceremony should be. We'd similar to outline what happens at about weddings in Republic of indonesia to help prepare you. If in doubt, consult colleagues or friends that you know have been invited or enquire colleagues or your secretarial assistant to determine what advisable dress and gift would be.
Attendance is Important
A nuptials is a very important event in Indonesian culture and is considered the starting point of a new aspect of a person's life, therefore normally anybody wants to help the couple celebrate this occasion. Literally every relative, acquaintance, colleague or business partner could exist invited to the wedding. Joining a group of others that are invited, even if you did not receive an invitation personally addressed to you, is normal (as long equally it's not a sit down down dinner - in which example the number of invitees is clearly stated on the invitation).
Indonesians are truly honored by your attendance at a wedding. Attending shows that y'all care, that you respect the people involved and your relationship with them, that you honor the family and want to show your support of the newlyweds. Don't question the intent of colleagues or subordinates who, upon brusk acquaintance, invite you to their daughter's or son's wedding. They really do want you to come up!
On the other hand, not responding to the invitation, or not attending a wedding that a close colleague has invited you to tin cause a pregnant insult and slight to the giver, which tin cause problems in your relationship in the time to come. Having said that ... you are not obligated to attend every wedding that you receive an invitation for. Although people that y'all do not take a close human relationship with may requite you lot an invitation, it is understandable if y'all send regrets for not being able to attend.
The Invitation
Wedding invitations in Jakarta and other urban centers can be very extravagant. The date on the outside of the envelope is very practical if you receive many hymeneals invitations. In rural areas, the invitation is done via visits from the family to neighbors and friends.
The sincere welcome extended to guests is noted on the invitation with wording such every bit "Merupakan suatu kehormatan & kebahagiaan bagi kami apabila Bapak/Ibu/Saudara/i berkenan hadir untuk memberikan doa restu kepada kedua mempelai" or "Tiada yang dapat kami ungkapkan selain ucapan terima kasih dari hati yang tulus atas kehairan serta pemberian doa restu Bapak/Ibu/Saudara/i kepada putra-putri kami". Both of these phrases hateful that y'all do the family great honor by attending and extending blessings upon the bride and groom.
On the invitation volition be noted the date, time and place for the Akad Nikah, which is the actual hymeneals ceremony,as well as the Resepsi Pernikahan, which is the wedding reception. Even though both ceremonies are noted on the invitation, the majority of people will just nourish the reception.
If you would like to attend the wedding ceremony, as this is when most of the cultural ceremonies accept place, be certain to ask the person who gave yous the invitation if this would be okay. They will probably say yes, but it's best to clear it first as unremarkably a much smaller crowd or merely close family members are expected to witness the actual exchange of spousal relationship vows.
Appropriate Dress
For women, nice dresses, much as you would article of clothing to a wedding at home. For men, a business organisation suit or a long-sleeved batik shirt with slacks.
Information technology would be appropriate to wear a long sleeved clothes to a Muslim wedding reception. Information technology is not necessary for an expatriate adult female to embrace her head, though many of the Indonesian attendees may practise and so.
The Souvenir
In the past (equally in the 80s and early-90s), the 1000, glorious, conspicuously extravagant weddings in Jakarta were gifted with large floral displays which were placed outside the reception hall. Or, wedding guests brought a broad variety of household goods equally gifts. In a large wedding ceremony, to which thousands of people may be invited, in that location would be many duplications of gifts. It would not be unusual at every large wedding for the nuptials couple to receive, for example, 15 blenders, 20 mixers, 10 toasters, 25 rice cookers, five refrigerators, 3 cars, etc.
Therefore, a relatively new practice arose in the mid-90s whereby the wedding couple asks the attendees not to bring gifts or floral displays by the inclusion of boosted wording on the invitation "Dengan tidak mengurangi rasa hormat dan terima kasih, akan lebih bermanfaat seandainya ungkapan kasih sayang yang mungkin akan diberikan kepada kami tidak berupa cendera mata atau karangan bunga" or "Dengan tidak mengurangi rasa hormat kami, akan sangat berterima kasih apabila tanda kasih yang akan diberikan tidak berupa cenderamata atau karangan bunga". This translates as, Without analytical your generosity, we'd appreciate it if you didn't give united states flowers or a gift.
This is a nice way of asking for money instead of gifts. At the reception desk there volition be a beautifully decorated box with a slit in the summit into which you can insert an envelope with money. If you lot choose to give money and are uncertain of an appropriate amount to requite, ask your secretary or Indonesian colleagues for their suggestions. Sometimes the hostesses volition number your envelope as well as next to your signature in the guest book, and then that the helpmate and groom know how much money yous gave.
Having said this, you are not obligated to bring a gift to the wedding.
Thank Y'all
Don't expect a thank yous annotation after the nuptials for your gift. In many weddings attendees are given a pocket-size token upon their arrival, a fan, key chain or other item. Fastened to this particular will exist a thank you lot for your attendance.
Nuptials Receptions
The divergence in the income level of the individuals will, needless to say, have a great bearing on the extent of the wedding celebrations. Weddings in Djakarta range from elementary meals in the family unit domicile, to small receptions in community centers to grand improvident affairs in the Jakarta Convention Center or 5-star hotel ballrooms.
At most wedding ceremony receptions, the guests arrive, sign the guest book, accept their thank you token, deposit their gift and enter the reception hall.
The path into the reception hall will be flanked left and correct with members of the extended families, often dressed in like traditional dress or formal attire. A smile and nod and sometimes a handshake if they offer their paw to some of these people would be advisable. Following the family members may be young men and women holding a chain of flowers. This is chosen the pagar ayu or 'debate of beauty'.
If you make it on time you will exist able to witness the procession of the nuptials couple into the reception hall. Depending on the wealth, social standing or indigenous grouping, this procession can exist quite impressive. The helpmate and groom may be proceeded by dancers who give a traditional dance performance earlier the wedding couple goes on stage. Or the functioning may come after the helpmate and groom are seated. The parents of the bride and groom and other senior family members will follow the couple in procession into the room.
Then come up the speeches! A representative of each family unit will address the oversupply to thank them for their omnipresence and sometimes an expression of regret if any arrangements for the reception are defective or establish wanting. Depending on whether or not y'all have 1 or two representatives speak, the speeches can be very brief or take up to half an hr.
After the speeches, the guests are invited to come to the phase and shake the hands of the bride and groom and their parents. Depending on the number of guests this receiving line tin go on for hours. Traditional music may beplayed throughout the reception, if it is a traditional Indonesian nuptials. If the wedding ceremony is a more western blazon, a mixture of foreign and popular Indonesian songs volition exist played.
After going through the receiving line, the guests are invited to swallow. The banquet can be quite extensive and is a good opportunity to effort cuisine from unlike regions. It could be as simple equally nasi goreng or bakmi goreng, ikan asem-manis to the more elaborate where at that place will be food stalls with sushi, tempura, kambing guling, dim sum, beef Wellington and other western dishes. Once the speeches are complete, it is also acceptable to consume first and then join the receiving line afterwards your repast if the line is quite long.
When should you arrive and how long should you stay?
While some attendees will arrive early, the timing of your inflow should be determined by whether or not y'all want to see the procession and hear the speeches. If y'all exercise want to, you lot should come on fourth dimension. If you lot. d rather miss the grand entrance and speeches, you lot can come 30-60 minutes after the time noted on the invitation. Then you lot can enter immediately into the reception hall, shake hands and proceed to the cafe tables.
The length of time you spend at the reception is entirely up to you lot. Many Indonesians may simply stay xv-xxx minutes to eat a pocket-sized snack after shaking hands, especially if they have another invitation to attend that dark. Some people can even have up to five or 6 wedding ceremony invitations for one evening! If you are enjoying the splendor and the food, know lots of the attendees and enjoy the adventure to chat, stick effectually and enjoy yourself. If, on the other hand, you don't know anyone who is in that location, information technology is acceptable to shake easily, eat and leave promptly (SMP-sudah makan pulang-when you've finished eating y'all tin go home :). In a modest wedding you will shake hands again before leaving.
Don't expect that booze volition be served at the hymeneals reception or that at that place would be dancing, this is highly unlikely. Likewise, coming to a wedding afterwards drinking would be considered very rude. Some couples that have spent time overseas may accept a wine and beer bar at their reception, however this is not mutual and in nigh cases guests will only drink moderately at a reception.
Indonesian Ethnic Weddings
The primary differences between wedding ceremony receptions of different ethnic groups would exist in the fashion of wedding dress, stage decorations, food served and the dance performance. Besides that, about weddings follow somewhat predictable patterns as described above. More differences would be evident in the traditional wedding ceremonies than in the receptions.
Ethnic Chinese Weddings
On the surface, indigenous Chinese wedding receptions may seem more similar to western weddings, due to the accommodation of western wedding dress and the hymeneals cake. Only that may be the extent of the similarities.
About a week earlier the wedding, the family of the groom volition go (without the groom) to the business firm of the bride bringing diverse gifts that are bundled in red baskets or cherry-red boxes or other red containers. Blood-red symbolizes happiness and prosperity for the Chinese. Each handbasket should be carried by a member of the firsthand family of the groom. The contents of the basket determines who should carry each basket.
The baskets from the groom should all be carried by males. They contain diverse items, such every bit fruit in one handbasket, clothes in another, golden jewelry for the bride in another. Some are gifts from the groom and others are gifts from the family of the groom. Another basket contains 'uang susu' (milk coin). Depending on the wealth of the family the gifts will be more or less generous.
The bride's family unit then accepts the baskets and takes them off to another room. Then, they sort through the gifts. Normally one-half of the gifts are placed back in the baskets and returned to the family of the groom. The basket is then returned to the person that brought information technology and everybody goes dwelling house.
Three days before the wedding, the bride's family returns the favor and brings red baskets to the groom's firm.These baskets are carried by females of the bride's immediate family. The baskets normally contain wearing apparel for the groom, shoes and fruit. Basically, things that he would use everyday.
Some of the baskets contain makeup and personal things for the helpmate, such as nightgowns. This symbolizes that the groom'south family is accepting her into their house. On her nuptials day when she moves in, all of her personal holding will already exist in the groom's house. Again the gifts are sorted through and virtually half are returned.
Different ethnic Chinese groups will have variations on these proceedings, some more strictly adhered to than others. For example, Hokian, Cantonese or Kai take slight variations on these customs. For some, the groom'due south family will exist invited into the new couple's bedroom after the helpmate's gifts have been received into the house and they will exist invited to accept a 'closet inspection'. It is expected that the bride has placed her things neatly in the closets indicating that she will be a skilful housekeeper.
On the morning time of the wedding solar day, the groom is symbolically dressed by his parents (helping him put his jacket on and his flower on his lapel). Then the groom and his parents would go to the firm of the bride. The wedding ceremony couple would serve tea to both sets of parents while kneeling down in front of them. This symbolizes paying their respects as well every bit asking permission of their parents.
The helpmate and groom would then get to the church, together in the aforementioned car, for the service. The church service is not actually considered that important and only immediate family normally attend. The more of import consequence to nourish is the reception.
Afterwards the church building service, the newlyweds keep to a professional person photograph studio and have their pic taken in many poses equally a memento of the day. After the photo session, the newlyweds go on to the reception that is commonly a standing simply event.
The reception is run by an MC, unremarkably someone who is hired to practice the job. The reception begins with a speech communication of welcome from the MC.
The speech communication is followed by block cut ceremony. The wedding cake is normally a monstrous size. Normally it is lapis Surabaya (a layer cake) as the layers symbolize a ladder that you lot can climb upwardly to success. It is also for this reason that some couples will cut the cake from the lesser layer and work their way upwards rather than starting at the acme and working their style to the bottom!
The cutting of the cake is ordinarily the only outcome at the reception. The bride and groom cutting the cake together and then feed the cake to each other with entwined artillery, trying not to destroy the bride's elaborate makeup in the process. Then a piece of the block would besides be cut for each of the parents and grandparents and they too would exist fed by the bride and groom belongings the block together.
After the block cutting, and sometimes a toast, the guests are invited to milkshake hands with the newlyweds and their parents on the stage. In all weddings there is some musical entertainment as the attendees line up to shake hands. This could exist as elementary equally a human with a keyboard up to the Jakarta Symphony or Twilight Orchestra. You would also shake easily again when yous are going to get out.
At more elaborate indigenous Chinese weddings, there could exist a sit down-downward wedding reception. If this is the case, expect an elaborate 9 to 10 class meal. It could feature Chinese cuisine only, or be mixed with western dishes as well. There could be a female singer for entertainment. Occasionally, friends or family members will get upwards from the audience to sing for the wedding couple. The head tables will usually get a canteen of cognac or whiskey. At the weddings of the very wealthy, beer, vino or champagne maybe served to the guests.
Most of the indigenous Chinese community that a decade ago would have been compulsory are being ignored by the younger generation today. Most of the customs that are carried out are done so to satisfy parents' wishes.
Sundanese Wedding ceremony
Some common practices from a traditional Sundanese (West Java) wedding ceremony:
Welcoming the bridegroom ceremony
- The benedict is welcomed with the umbul-umbul, a decoration indicating that a wedding ceremony is going on, which is also auspicious for the bridegroom.
- The welcome is followed past a procession of ladies with candles. They pray to the Almighty seeking His blessing in lodge that there peradventure no hindrances in the ceremony.
- The showering of flowers by the dancers is symbolic of a fragrant futurity for the couple.
- The umbrella held over the couple'due south heads, apart from serving as a protective symbol, indicates esteem and respect.
- The mother of the bride gives the bridegroom a garland of flowers indicating his acceptability to the family.
- The mother of the bride gives the bridegroom a keris, a hidden message to the son-in-law not to exist disheartened while toiling for his family unit.
Wedding anniversary
The bride and groom are seated next to each other with a selendang or veil covering their heads indicating two people but having one mind.
The bride and groom bend forward and buss the knees of their parents, called sungkem, asking for forgiveness and blessing and reassuring them that they will keep to serve their parents.
Sawer
This ceremony should take identify in front of the sawer or gargoyle. The water flowing from the gargoyle indicates the continuous flow of priceless parental dearest for their children.
The bride and groom are seated under an umbrella in front of the entrance to the firm. At that place are ii singers, a man and a woman, who sing on behalf of the parents. The song, called kidung, advises the couple to care for each other well, living in harmony, and serves as a prayer to the Almighty to anoint the couple.
Then the sawer is showered on the couple. It consists of:
Turmeric rice Rice is a sign of prosperity and yellow stands for everlasting love
Coins Reminding the couple to share their wealth with the less fortunate
Candy Indicates sweetness and fragrance throughout their marriage
A betel nut set up well-nigh the couple is a reminder that their different customs should not spoil their harmonious marriage.
Nincak Endog
This is the egg breaking ceremony. The couple are required to stand facing each other in front of the entrance of the house. The bridegroom stands outside the entrance and the bride is inside the entrance.
This ceremony is conducted by the lady in accuse of the bridal makeup and serves as communication to the couple for their happiness and long wedded life.
The following items are used:
a. Harupat, seven broomsticks, are burnt and thrown away symbolizing the discarding of bad habits which endanger one. s married life.
b. An egg is broken, indicating that the groom will be the master of the business firm henceforth and the helpmate volition serve him.
c. Ajug, seven candles, represents the direction the couple should follow to ensure a happy married life.
d. Elekon, hollow bamboo, which symbolizes emptiness.
e. Kendi, an earthen water jug filled with water, which stands for peace.
f. In the by, unmarried girls were not immune to cantankerous over logs. Here the bride is made to cantankerous the log as a sign that she volition always obey her hubby.
The lady in charge of the ceremony gives the helpmate the harupat. The groom lights the harupat with the ajug. And so the flames are put out and the sticks are broken and thrown abroad. Subsequently the groom breaks the egg with his right pes, the bride cleans the groom'south foot with the water from the kendi. Then the bride throws the kendi to break it.
And so the couple are escorted to the house. The bride crosses the log and enters the house while the groom remains exterior to perform the buka pintu ceremony.
Buka Pintu
This is a dialogue between the bride and groom in front of the house. However, they are represented by a couple who besides sings for them. First, the couple knocks iii times on the door, so enters into a dialogue whereby permission is requested by the groom to enter the helpmate's business firm. The helpmate consents on the condition that the groom will say the syahadat (confirming his Moslem religion). The song as well solemnizes the importance of the nuptial anniversary.
Huap Lingkung
Symbolic of the final time the parents of the helpmate will feed their girl. This is also the first dish prepared past the daughter in her new home. The dish consists of turmeric sticky rice with xanthous spiced chicken on top of it.
Patarik-Tarik Bakakak
The couple are given a barbecued spiced craven. On hearing the discussion 'become' from the lady conducting the ceremony, the couple has to pull the chicken apart. The ane who gets the larger slice supposedly volition bring in the larger share of the family unit fortune. This ceremony besides serves to remind the couple to encourage each other to piece of work hard together to gain good fortune.
Indonesian Wedding Links
Getting Married in Indonesia
Wedding Catering in Bali
Bruce and Yanti'southward Balinese Hindu wedding ceremony
Beautiful and Memorable Nuptials Venues in Republic of indonesia
For a minor, intimate wedding in a tranquil garden setting, The Watergarden in East Bali is the perfect location. From the simplest Balinese Blessing Anniversary through to a full religious and legal ceremony, the hotel tin can accommodate every particular.
Spectacular volcanic mountain backdrops and verdant scene are the perfect venue for a memorable hymeneals at the MesaStila Spa Retreat & Coffee Planation in Central Java.
Source: https://www.expat.or.id/info/weddings.html
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